Online Shopping Does Not Spark Joy
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Getting Lost in the Amazon (Reviews)
Not the Amazon, but another river in another rainforest!
Last week, I wished to be more like Harriet—to have an obsession, like this wily protagonist. It’s true what they say: Be careful what you wish for.
This week, I write this newsletter from within the black hole that is BABY STUFF. For the last few days, my brain has been bursting with thoughts like, “What exactly is a swaddle transition sleeping bag?” and “Does my baby need a nasal aspirator?” We’re in the process of preparing our baby registry, a task that I have put off for 33 weeks, and I am literally having nightmares about pacifiers and nursing bras.
Anne Helen Peterson, who recently published a book about millennials and burnout, coined the term “errand paralysis,” the items on our to-do list that haunt us week after week. The baby registry was one of those items, festering in the back of mind as I ticked the weeks off the calendar in anticipation for our baby’s arrival.
I did everything I could to avoid it: ignore it, deny it, and foist it on others. My friends, sweethearts that they are, made a mock registry to start me off, but as soon as I opened the door, I fell into the well of baby gear propaganda: Amazon reviews, top 10 lists, how-to videos, pros and cons articles and the like.
The world of baby stuff is complex, confusing, and unceasingly capitalist. Expecting mothers make the perfect target for unnecessary spending—it’s in the name of your baby’s health and safety, after all! The next thing I knew, my registry was jam-packed with items that I’d never heard of before but that I was convinced were absolutely necessary for my child’s wellbeing.
With my head swimming full of contradictory information, I knew that I needed human contact to bring it all back to earth. And so, I consulted half a dozen mom friends about cloth diapers, bottle feeding, sleep hacks, clothing considerations and decrypting stroller features. Speaking to them helped, but it also confused me further. “It all depends what kind of bottle your kid likes,” one friend told me. “This baby seat was amazing, but they outgrew it in three months,” another said. “Don’t put any clothes on your registry.” “Make sure to put sleeping gowns on your registry.” “I loved my soft structure carrier.” “The baby hated the carrier.” “Don’t get the swaddle with Velcro.” “Do yourself a favor and get the swaddle with Velcro. It’s a lifesaver.”
Friends, I am in the midst of information paralysis. The internet provides me with a gluttony of information available at my fingertips—for better or for worse. Unlike doing research about camping in the Everglades, where I might learn tips for keeping away mosquitos and which months are best to camp, doing research about baby gear has a different purpose: buying stuff. The information I’m intaking has to result in a choice: the all-in-one cloth diapers or the hybrid (or the fitted or the prefold or the sleeve or the all-in-twos??)? Some people find online shopping soothing, but the endless options available on the internet fill me with anxiety.
Hence, the paradox of choice. You’d think that having a million options for baby carriers might be better than just a few, but in fact, having a multitude of options detracts from our happiness.
In a way, I knew this was what was waiting for me behind the “baby registry” door, and that’s why I avoided the task for so long.
I realize now that I took it as a given that I had to make an online baby registry, when in actuality, I could have been more creative about it. I suppose I could have registered at a brick and mortar baby store and asked friends to buy gifts from there. Or I could have forgone the whole thing altogether! 😆
Tip of the Week
Nowadays, so many of the virtual tools we have are meant to make things more “convenient,” but it’s important to challenge that perception and consider the fact that this isn’t always the case.
What virtual tools or digital habits are complicating your life more than simplifying it? Is doing something virtually for the sake of “convenience” taking away from your personal happiness?
Perhaps, if you’re open and creative about the possibilities, there’s another--more healthful and fulfilling--way to do what you want to do.
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