Social Media Megaphone
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Big Life Announcements in the Age of Social Media
Photo by Pressmaster from Pexels
Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of our first wedding. (Being a transatlantic couple, we had a wedding on each side of the Atlantic.) This anniversary was low-key, given that we have a newborn at home. A card, some flowers, a kiss. A quiet, private celebration.
Those of us on social media often turn to Facebook to celebrate life’s important moments: birthdays, anniversaries, or the passing of a loved one. Then there are the Hallmark holidays—Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day—that get their due on social media. It’s common to see loving tributes posted about parents or partners, an augmentation of these messages of love by sharing it with friends and followers.
I used to be someone who turned to social media to make big life announcements (BLA). Facebook was where I turned to unabashedly share happenings in my life—big, small, good and bad. When I got published, I posted. When I was frustrated about finals week, I posted. When I received a Fulbright, I posted. But when I came back to social media after a year-long sabbatical, I suddenly didn’t have the urge anymore to share my personal news with the world. It’s as if the sabbatical broke me of the habit.
Since then, there have been many BLA—our engagement and wedding, my father’s passing, the birth of our son—but my social media feeds have been devoid of proclamations of love, sadness, elation, and the rest. From time to time, though, I do use social media to rage in frustration about our political system…
Giving up the practice of posting tributes and announcements on Facebook has allowed me to step back and get curious about the reasons why we engage in this public act. In essence, we’re putting our vulnerability on display—and there’s nothing wrong with that. Perhaps we do so in order to seek comfort from others, to connect with people who may have shared experiences, or simply as an outlet to get these big feelings off our chest—whether they be feelings of happiness, despair, or confusion.
But it also makes me wonder if these public displays of feelings are replacing quieter, more private expressions of spirit—practices such as journaling, writing a letter, praying, or simply sharing a deep conversation with a loved one.
Think about this next time you post a Mother’s Day message or a tribute to a sibling on National Siblings Day. You’re making your love for your mother or sibling known to the world through this grand statement—but have you made your love known to them personally? As for me—does shouting about my rage on the internet do anything to change the political system? What purpose does this message really have besides publicly stating my opinion? Will it lead to a healthy discussion and meaningful change? Is it really necessary, or could I be using my voice and energy more consequentially?
Grand gestures certainly have their place, but perhaps they shouldn’t replace the quieter gestures of affection, celebration, fear, and allyship.
Tip of the Week
Think about ways that you publicly express emotions and feelings. Do you also express them privately--to the person that they are intended towards? Perhaps, instead of writing a tribute to your deceased mother on her birthday, make an altar for her in your kitchen, a physical space where you can pay tribute to your mother every day during her birthday week. Just an example, but send me your ideas!
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