Trouble in Paradise
Trouble in Paradise
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YouTube Celebrities Pull Back the Curtain
Hi friends, by the time you read this, my family and I will be sailing in the Florida Keys for a long overdue vacation. In that spirit, I figured I’d write about the sailing YouTube influencers that I wrote about previously, Sailing La Vagabonde. The other day, one of their videos caught my eye. It was titled “We Need Some Time Apart.” Curious, I clicked the thumbnail, which showed Elayna, the female partner, and their child on a dinghy with a hand waving goodbye.
The video, which has 836,000 views, starts with the male partner, Riley, talking straight to the camera about how things are not always as rosy as they seem on camera. “We don’t feel like filming when we’re in a bad mood, or when the baby is screaming his head off.”
According to him, the idea for the video was spurred by the fact that several of his friends back in Australia have been experiencing mental health issues, and he wants to use his platform to destigmatize this topic; he especially wants to encourage men to talk about their feelings and seek help when necessary.
The video was also motivated by the fact that his girlfriend and their toddler had left the boat and were staying in an AirBnB for a few days. “Like any couple,” she says to the camera, “We have our ups and downs.”
The comment section (with close to 3,500 comments) was full of messages from long-time fans wishing them well and offering marital advice. In reading through them, I began to get a feeling for the community that this couple has created online—a large collection of followers, with them at the center. (When I put it that way, it sounds a bit cultish, doesn’t it?) But it’s obvious that these followers care a lot for the couple that they have come to know over the years through their YouTube videos. Many of the comments had messages like, “Take a break!” and “Do what’s best for the couple, not for the YouTube channel,” which I found to be very heartwarming.
“Honestly, we'd all respect you guys if you wanted to take a digital break,” wrote Katie. “Your 'mental load' is most probably astronomically high, especially with the sheer amount of effort you guys put in to creating content to please the masses. Please take time to just be people.” Yet another wrote back with the sober detail that they’re contractually obligated to post four videos a month in order to pay off the boat with Outremer, the company that built their catamaran.
While Riley’s intention to get real with his audience about his mental health struggles and the complicated reality of their relationship, I felt that the video fell a bit short. At the end of the video, Riley lists a bunch of books that he’s read about the psychology of happiness and gives several tips about how to be happy (gratitude lists, cardio exercise, strong friendships, etc...). “We’re going to be okay,” he reassures his fans after they both confess separately that they will choose their relationship over the YouTube channel, but they really really don’t want to quit the sailing YouTube life.
Still, it’s not often that so-called influencers pull back the curtain and show the messiness of their “real” lives. “This is pivotal,” reads one of the comments, “and what ‘Reality TV’ should be. Thank you for being honest. You have integrity, and it shows that you respect the people watching enough to not present an Instagram version of your reality.”
Kazique wrote about watching their supposedly perfect life made her feel about her own life. “It’s interesting how our perception of other people can create certain illusions and when we compare we might end up being more unhappy about our life. To be honest, I had such thought watching your videos some time ago. I thought: they have no issues, their life is perfect, my life sucks comparing to this, I wonder if they ever have issues... and of course I know on the intellectual level that you guys are human beings and go through some shite as much as everybody else, but when an average person watches your video they might draw unnecessarily wrong conclusions.”
Others commented on the intensity that comes with having that many eyes on your life and the pressures of constantly producing “content.” They’ve got 1.5 million subscribers to their YouTube channel and who knows how many patrons on their Patreon account. One of the commenters wrote that inviting Greta Thurnberg to sail with them “was a curse that's going to cost you everything,” perhaps alluding to the level of visibility that making this choice gave them. Another commenter wrote that more visibility was going to result in more pressure and chaos for their personal lives.
At the end of the video, Riley asks the people watching to subscribe – “and hit that notification button,” he says, “because that will make me happy.”
“That's probably where all your Heartbreak comes from,” reads one of the comments below Perhaps a wise observation....
See you next week!
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