For over a month, I've been using my phone in a new way. Or, perhaps I should say an old way. I've been trying out what Cal Newport calls the phone foyer method, in which you treat your phone like it's a landline by charging it in one spot and then only using it in that spot while you're at home.
Before I stumbled upon this method, I had already cut down my daily screen time immensely by employing other techniques.
First, I stopped bringing my phone into the bathroom with me. Really, it's a disgusting habit. I highly doubt most people disinfect their phones after bringing them into bathrooms, which means even if people wash their hands after going, they're still spreading pee and poo germs (scientific terms) all over the place by handling their phones again. Yuck.
I thought not bringing my phone into the bathroom would be pretty easy, since I think, subconsciously, bringing my phone in there is something I've always felt a little gross about anyway. But, breaking myself of the habit took a few days, and even now, that ingrained tendency to go looking for my phone before walking into the bathroom crops back up from time to time.
That said, pretty quickly, being in the bathroom without my phone began to feel nice, like a natural break in the rhythm of my day. I remembered how calm I felt in the bathroom as a kid, pre-smartphone era, and, silly as it sounds, realized I'd been robbing myself of those few minutes of solitude interspersed throughout my day by allowing my phone to intrude. That seems to be a recurring theme as I work on changing my relationship to my phone — I’ve been allowing my phone to eat my downtime, my time to process, reflect, and calm myself. Which explains a lot.
Next, I stopped bringing my phone into my bedroom. Initially, the plan was to stop sleeping with my phone next to me in bed, but I realized quickly it was all-or-nothing. Bringing the phone into my bedroom but not keeping it there when I went to sleep felt impossible. So, I stopped bringing my phone in there altogether.
This one was tough.
I didn't keep records, but I'm pretty sure the first couple of nights I went to sleep without my phone in my bedroom, it took me at least 30 more minutes to fall asleep because my anxiety was triggered. This experience helped solidify that my relationship to my phone is indeed an addiction, and it's partly what motivated me to take a month off social media.
I could no longer deny that checking my phone was something I compulsively did to avoid anxiety, now that I saw how much anxiety arose in its absence. I don't want to use my phone that way, like an emotional crutch. I don't want to avoid feeling anxiety, either. I want to face it directly. And face it I did, as I lay in bed phoneless with my anxiety increasing and increasing. My mind came up with many reasons for why I should go get my phone those nights.
What if someone breaks in during the night? If my phone were in my bedroom, I could immediately call 9-1-1 upon hearing an odd creak. With my phone in another room, I'd have to stand up and walk to my phone, perhaps putting myself directly in the path of the home intruder! Not sleeping with my phone is practically the same as committing suicide!
Or, what if someone I care about is having an emergency right now and they've texted me? Not doing my last-second-before-shuteye phone check means I won't see their text until the next morning, when it would surely be too late, because they'd be dead and gone, all because of me! Not sleeping with my phone is practically the same as murdering people who love me!
If I get used to sleeping without my phone, I’m only going to want to date men who sleep without their phones, and men like that don’t even exist. Which means, if I don’t go get my phone right now, I’m going down a path that’ll leave me alone and lonely for the rest of life!
Despite my mind’s melodramatic pleas for the object it was clearly addicted to, I stayed in bed minus my phone until I finally fell asleep. After surviving those first few difficult nights of sleeping without my phone, sleeping sans my phone became the new normal and now isn’t very difficult or unusual-feeling at all. At first, I’d check my phone right before retiring to my bedroom for the night, but now, on most nights, I don’t even remember or have a desire to do that.
After making these changes, when I'd go into the bathroom or my bedroom, I'd first put my phone in a specific, centralized spot. I also began putting my phone in that spot while I was working, so it would stay out of reach as I sat at the computer. So, when I learned of the phone foyer method, the concept resonated. I was already half-way there, keeping my phone in one spot during bathroom, sleep, and work hours.
Going all-in and leaving my phone in one spot all the time when I'm at home has been lovely. I know this will sound hyperbolic, but it’s true: I feel like a different person (better), with a different mind (better). I feel like I’ve come back to myself, like I’ve become more myself, like I now remember what it felt like to feel centered and calm a majority of the time. I also now see plainly that I spent years in a state of near-constant overwhelm and distraction, largely because of my addiction to this handheld computer we call a “phone.” It’s difficult not to feel sad about those years and also fearful that I could easily slip back into that state of being if I’m not careful. Being in that state seems to be our culture’s norm.
A few months ago, my daily phone screen time usually fell between seven and nine hours per day. As I made adjustments to my habits, my daily phone screen time fell to between four and five hours, where it hovered for quite a while.
Since switching to the phone foyer method, my screen time usually hovers around two hours per day. Usually, taking a longer phone call, listening to a podcast while on a walk, or listening to music via headphones (bluetooth, so the phone can still stay put) while doing things around the house is what usually bumps up that daily screen time average. I'd estimate that the actual time I’ve spent with my eyes on my phone screen over the past month is less than an hour a day.
I don't even have the words to describe how free I feel no longer being chained to my phone. There's also a bonus benefit to this method — I don't misplace my phone anymore, because it's always in the same place.
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I literally stumbled upon Newport's article and a day later you sent this out. I love this method! You get used to sleeping without your phone and now having my phone in bed is what sounds scroll insanity.
I love this!!!