Do It For the Kids
Community Meeting FRIDAY at Noon
SCROLL SANITY COMMUNITY MEETING
FRIDAY MARCH 21 @ 12PM EASTERN
JOIN THE SCROLL SANITY COMMUNITY!
I was riding in the car with a friend who recently had a baby and she was telling me that I was going to have to share my digital minimalism tricks with her soon because she didn’t want to expose her growing child to the phone. And since my friend, like all of us, has an addiction to her smartphone, she was going to have to figure that out — and quick!
(Obviously, my advice was for her to ditch the smartphone and get a Light Phone asap!)
Talking to people in the Scroll Sanity community meetings, many of us seeking relief from digital addiction are parents. Having these precious and incredibly impressionable humans in our care suddenly puts all of our habits into perspective. We want to be our best selves for our children so that they don’t adopt any of our bad habits.
For example, I keep my favorite sugary cereal in the back of the pantry. You certainly won’t find me pulling it out at the breakfast table, because you can be sure that my boys will be all over that! Instead, I might make a bowl of it after they’ve gone to sleep and slurp it down while standing in the kitchen. But to be honest, I have mostly forgotten about that box of sugary cereal in the back of the pantry. It has gone untouched for months and is probably very stale by now.
On a Zoom call with my writing group today, one of the writers had her granddaughter on her lap and was telling me how interested the seven month old was in the phone and computer — all these gadgets that she sees adults giving so much attention to. “She’s not going to be one of those kids with a phone in hand at the restaurant,” my friend assures me.
I remember when my son was little and how obsessed he was with my smartphone. I could barely use it because every time I had it in my hand, he would try to grab it. The smartphone became like the cereal, something I had to use surreptitiously in the corner while my baby was interested in some other toy. He had his toys to play with, and the phone was mine.
When my second kid was born, that’s when I started to get really serious about kicking the smartphone addiction. With two kids, I was more stressed and turning to my phone even more to soothe my nervous system (which it never did). Plus, my kids were getting older and more aware of their surroundings. We were strict about no devices for the kids, but what sort of example was I setting?
Children demand so much of our attention. It pains me to think about how many kids are constantly fighting the smartphone for their parent’s attention. Of course, parents have always been distracted by the news, or a phone call, or work, or making dinner. But I do believe the allure of the smartphone is unmatched; the way the rest of the world can fall away while you dive deeper and deeper into the digital world, without hardly realizing what’s happening. Meanwhile, your child might be left out in the cold, wondering why the phone is more important to their parent than they are.
I put that sugary cereal in the back of the pantry because I didn’t want my kids eating it, and honestly, I haven’t missed it much. I’d probably still be eating it regularly if it weren’t for my kiddos, and it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it wouldn’t be the best habit ever. I’m better off without it.
And that’s how I feel about my smartphone. I got rid of it because of my family; I wanted to be more present for my kids, my husband, myself. My smartphone addiction was hindering my ability to show up in the world as the mindful human that I wanted to be.
I’m not sure if I’d still have a smartphone if I hadn’t had kids, but I know one thing for sure —
I’m better off without it.