I relate so much to this, Carmella. I was traveling only domestically this summer, but my iPhone (which I use only as a tablet on wifi) has been creeping back into my hand more often, mostly due, I think, to election-year stress. I've found my self scrolling more than I have in a couple of years, and craving that self-soothing in the evenings. I need to put the phone back in my drawer where it belongs. There is "pleasure," yes, but it's usually so shallow, and comes at a cost to my quality of feeling and thought.
This is so relatable! Sometimes I feel broken because after all this time of being completely fine with a mostly unplugged/offline life, as soon as I have access to let's say Reddit or whatever, it's like I simply cannot look away. Hours pass by and I'm conscious of all the negative effects in real time, how gross I feel, and I just keep scrolling, and as soon as the access is gone, I'm back to my offline routines and activities. I don't mind the tricks to unplug as long as they work, I love this mode of living so, so much but there's a part of me that's just like... Seriously?!?! Ugh. I guess I want to feel stronger than being easily captured by the digital but yeah... Self-compassion
I relate so much to this, Carmella. I was traveling only domestically this summer, but my iPhone (which I use only as a tablet on wifi) has been creeping back into my hand more often, mostly due, I think, to election-year stress. I've found my self scrolling more than I have in a couple of years, and craving that self-soothing in the evenings. I need to put the phone back in my drawer where it belongs. There is "pleasure," yes, but it's usually so shallow, and comes at a cost to my quality of feeling and thought.
This is so relatable! Sometimes I feel broken because after all this time of being completely fine with a mostly unplugged/offline life, as soon as I have access to let's say Reddit or whatever, it's like I simply cannot look away. Hours pass by and I'm conscious of all the negative effects in real time, how gross I feel, and I just keep scrolling, and as soon as the access is gone, I'm back to my offline routines and activities. I don't mind the tricks to unplug as long as they work, I love this mode of living so, so much but there's a part of me that's just like... Seriously?!?! Ugh. I guess I want to feel stronger than being easily captured by the digital but yeah... Self-compassion